Looking at the stars

Today we got the message we've been waiting on for the first step. Conception is in 14 days!!!!! I have a really good feeling about it! :)
Its all so overwhelming. I took a little cat nap today and had my first dream about her..about our little beautiful girl..omg she was amazing. So little and so very vulnerable....looking to me for her every need. The idea takes my breath away. Its amazing to me that this miracle can be so ordinary to so many people..this life changing thing that I feel so humbled and honored to be a part of. I dont know what I did to deserve this opportunity but oh my god thank you..from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Whatever or whomever is out there in the universe smiling on my family...
I dont know how to say this without sounding totally hokie and cheesy..lol..but the love that I feel, for this child, for Rhea, for this opportunity, is so big that it brings tears to my eyes as I write this. I know that something is out there bigger than me. Im not talking about a "God" necessarily, I like to think that our souls get recycled, that we keep coming back to learn things we didnt learn in the life pior, and as I think about that, I see how honored I am as a parent, to actually be the one who cares for this child as she enters this world..again. How honored I am to be chosen to care for this soul and be there as she learns what she's meant to learn.  There's simply nothing more honorable than that, and the words that I know, do not begin to even come close to describing how much I appreciate being one of the Dad's to this child as she gets ready to walk this earth and be a part of something truly miraculous.
And then there is Rhea. again, I lack the words to express my gratitude, our gratitude. Even if we had millions of dollars to offer you, it still wouldn't be enough to compare to what you are giving us.
Rhea was actually dating someone that Stephen had known for years..since high school, when this all came about. Their relationship didn't work out for several reasons, but when I think about how our path was meant to cross hers and how the universe kept him in the picture just long enough for her to bond with us, to allow this opportunity to develop....I think it all happens for a reason. Im not bad mouthing William *at all*..but I do think that it is amazing to see how when he had fulfilled his purpose in this scenario, he bowed out ..for his own reasons, but it really is cosmic how things work if we just take a step back and pay attention..pay really close attention. Its not about us as individuals..its so so much bigger than that. I think its great to have self confidence but i also think that so many of us get caught up in our own egos that we become a bit self absorbed, so much so , that it becomes easy to lose sight of what is happening around us...that its so much bigger than that.
Its like looking up at the stars on a clear summer night and peeking at a tiny corner of the universe..makes you feel so small and humble.
Thats how i feel about this; like Im looking up at the stars as the universe chooses who is coming into our lives 9 months from now..who its meant to be.
Life is AMAZING and all we have to do is be the best kind of person we can be, be grateful and give back in any way we can.... I am and I do .
Thanks for stoping in, see ya soon :)
xox
Donny