I love gathering my thoughts, throwing them at a computer screen and seeing what sticks; like spaghetti. Bloggin was something that I got into earlier this year and shortly thereafter life has gotten so damn busy that I haven't had the emotional energy.
Our non profit is really dragging in terms of revenue. We are in a crux at the moment with not really being able to buy the land we need and really needing the land to move forward and do what we want to do...so we are hurrying up and waiting.
I am in the last year of grad school and O M G is it dragging! ugh..I really need to find a job in th eworst way, but every job I apply for , I am either under qualified for because I don't quite have my masters degree yet or I am over qualified for..either way I get looked over and it is doing quite a number on my self esteem, i don't mind saying.
The starnge part is, I have a pretty cool life, I spend my days bottle feeding orphaned wildlife, taking care of our foxes, raccoons, skunks, dogs, vet visits, vaccinations, illnesses/ and somewhere in all of that I also manage to work on my summer course on child grief for my masters program, throw in the cooking and cleaning and laundry that I do for four kids..and well , yes, I am pretty much spent. I am also planning and organizing fundraiser whenever I can. As I write this, we have a yard sale going on out front, next weekend, we have a drag show/benefit for our our non profit, Noahs Arc and Spet 11th and 12th a fundraiser with Bob Evans restaurant. Anyone who come in with one of our flyers; 15% of their bill goes to us...what else? Oh yeah, at the end of this mont we are going to gay pride in Toledo. Last pride we did, in Columbus, we made over a thousand bucks. It averages out to about two major events a month..which is plenty.
September marks the beginning of my last year of school as well as the beginning of my last internship which will be at the Hospice of Dayton, Im really looking forward to that...last time I was there, I was walking down the hallway..peering into the rooms as I made my way down the hall. The people with worry worn faces, searching for an explanation, waiting for solace, finality. It was all so humbling..so important; I cant wait to be a part of helping others find some answers, some hope in those hopeless and answer less moments.
I am aware that I do "big" things, and it may appear that I do too much. All I can say is that for all the work that I do ..it is equivalent to how much I feel..sometimes things I cant attach words to; actions and feelings that have no words, and feeling and expressing is all I can do. So, I get up everyday and I feel, I work, and I do what I can do, till I'm too tired and it fills me up, then I go to bed and do it l over again, each time chipping away at a big stone that will someday bear an impressive epitaph.
