Unpopular gay opinion

In my first post, I briefly mentioned that I had some pretty specific ideas about gay rights and the gay movement , in general. As a gay couple with children it is paramount that Stephen and I both keep our finger on the pulse of this movement as it impacts our family in many ways. Stephen and I could not BOTH adopt our children. It had to be one of us or the other. The non-adoptive parent had to get legal guardianship through our attorney; so we both have some kind of parental rights in so far as educational say so, medical authority ect.
Since we are not "legally" a couple, Stephen is not considered my "next of kin". This becomes problematic in terms of making medical decisions, rights to legal property in the event of one of our deaths, ect. Without our wills and the cooperation of our families of origin , these would be potentially HUGE problems.

So why dont gays and lesbians have more equal rights? Why dont people see the value in gay familes?
The expected answer might be:
Conservative Republicans
Conservative Religious views
The lack of separation between church and state in our legal system
It MIGHT be those things, but you know what the biggest culrpite is , in my opinion?
Gay peeople.
Thats right, I think that we help to repress ourselves more than any republican ever could. My opinion is not a popular one, but here's my rational:
I dont know how many of you are involved or aware of any kind of gay culture, but if you attend any gay pride event in June, you will see that for many .."Gay Pride" equates a kind of no holds barred, sexually explicit, in your face, fuck you , kind of attitude with behavior to match. The media devours this, recycles it back into mainstream society and tells us "This is what a gay person is."
When we see the front page of the news paper. covering a gay pride event, or the 11 O'Clock news after a gay event.
You probably wont see:
the gay Dad's pushing strollers
or lesbian moms, little red wagons in tow.
Thats not to say that we (gay familes) arent there..we are. But we dont make the headlines. We dont fit the shock value element that main stream media dictates.
What you will undoubtedly see are:
the outrageous drag queens in heels and laced panties,
the muscle stripper boys, wearing G strings, sometimes less,
or other things like S&M leather scenes depicting public flogging and other sexual fetishes.
Now, let me digress and say that, I am NOT saying that these people dont have a place. Im also not saying that I think all these things are "bad" or even "wrong"
I don't think anything is that Black and White.
The complicated part is that I understand, historically, why certain groups behave the way they do. Gay people have been beaten, arrested, killed, harrased and denied rights all for being gay,  and in some parts of the country still are, so, after the stonewall riots in the 60's, the gay community decided to fight back and have proven since, to be a forced to be reckoned with.
But I fear we have lost our way. I wonder what such gay pioneers such as Harvey Milk would say if he were alive today to see the Gay amusement park-like events that happen annually supposedly in the name of gay rights.

Many straight models of society would have you believe that my family is NOT a family.
Much of gay culture revolves around bars, partying, and venues that are NOT kid friendly at all.
So where does that leave gay families? Where do we fit in?
We are getting some of the rights we have fought so hard for..slowly, but there is yet a real environment for those changes to truly flourish.
Let me give some context to my soap box here.
Every year cities decide what the theme for their gay pride parade will be for that year. They gather people from the community and establish committees to decide what is most appropriate and what most accurately reflects what is happening in gay culture for that area.
Lat year Columbus Ohio chose "Gay Families" at the theme for their celebration. I was elated! I thought, FINALLY! People would really see that there is a whole other side to gay culture that wasn't so risque but just as normal as any heterosexual family. I just felt like, finally, me and my family would be represented.
We marched in the parade and were at the head of the parade. all around us were gay families with kids holding signs saying "I love Daddy and Papa" or "I love my two Moms" I was overcome..several times. I teared up more than I can tell you. People were taking pictures, asking for interviews..ect. It was wonderful.
The theme was "Gay Families". What no one realized was, those who didnt have children, and gravitated more towards that hyper sexual shock value life style, really didnt know how to celebrate gay familes. Sooooo,  just a few feet behind us, marching to "represent" gay familes were the same tired crap that I give an eye roll to every damn year.
There was even a float created by one of the leather bars with a naked man tied to a cross getting a dildo shoved up his ass in front of the whole crowd. This was just ONE example of the offensive sights. That parade was no more about gay families than the man on the moon. The parents of the grand Marshall who had come to support their son actually were so offended by the vulgar display of sexuality that they left before the parade finished.
The news coverage did not look any different than the years prior.
The drag queens, the strippers, the sexual explicit behavior..all present and accounted for...
and those were offended were such a small percentage of the numbers represented that our voices were not heard.The most offensive part was they even pretended that it was about gay families at all.
My question is:
If we really want equality, If we really want to be seen as equal and deserving of legal rights, is this really the smartest way to represent ourselves???
I am extremely liberal politically but wheather we like it or not, there is and always will be a very real conservative component to our society, there will always be conservative Christians and conservative republicans who will fight to the death to deny us our rights, so by contributing to these shock value media shows that so many gay boys seem to thrive on, aren't we just feeding right out of the hands of those who wish to oppress us?
All any Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh has to do is tune into any local liberal media news channel covering gay "pride" and say , "See?! I told you they were perverts!" Im not saying the answer is to all subscribe to some conservative notion that we all need to adhere by ,exhibiting complete american patriotic, traditional "family values."...but is it wise to pretend that it's not a balance either???