Easy come, hard go

I have always been of the mind set that people who are in our lives are there for a reason. Nothing is random. Some are with us our entire lives, some a few years, others less than that.
I believe once we have learned/experienced what we were supposed to have, and the need for that person in our lives is gone..they will be too. The exit itself may be in the form of a death, a conflict or some other event that brings on the actual departure or separation.
I think the hard part is, as social creatures, we have a REAL hard time with being left on our journey. When there is conflict, we blame, we justify and we argue and we express our pain about that conflict and those who have wronged us. Perhaps they were "supposed" to have wronged us, otherwise we wouldnt let them go..when in fact it was time to do so...Wouldnt it be easier to take a step back and consider the possibility that whatever is happening could be because their "job" in our lives  (or ours in theirs) is complete?
I know, much easier said than done, and if anyone does NOT have a handle on how to do this it is me! LOL..especially in the moment. It's only later when I get those "ah ha" moments that I can see the value in the departure, let go of my resentment, and wish them well, *even if the sentiment isnt returned*...it doesnt matter.
In the past 6 months or so, I have seen people leave my life, through death, personality conflict, situational conflict, and sometimes even just a matter of drifting apart.. yes it hurts and yes it can lend itself to resentment, but I have to believe that things are happening the way they should.
Most of you know that we are no longer on our path to surrogacy, and while that was hard, maybe we went on that very brief journey because we needed some hope, we needed to consider the possibilities, I dont know. I dont understand it now, and thats Okay.
Ive always been fascinated by interpersonal dynamics, which is a bit ironic because sometimes, I wish I conducted myself with a bit more confidence, conviction and setting of boundaries.  (particularly the latter)In my heart I know what is right for me and what is not, its just a matter of learning how to apply that more efficiently I guess.
I have NEVER been the kind of person who has had, or has ever felt comfortable with the idea of having,  large circles of friends. The sheer idea of trying to understand and navigate that many personalities is maddening to me! lol
Managing a couple friendships..close friendships is MORE than enough for me. I keep hearing myself say that I , in general, dont really like people, I prefer animals because they make more sense to me. This is true.
Its nothing short of ironic that  I am a social worker lol I sometimes think Im in this profession because I think "okay, look, if I have to deal and relate to other humans then im gong to  have to devote a lifetime to understanding them" LOL
People make things *way* too complicated and chaotic when there is little need for either.
At the moment I guess Im feeling a little raw at some recent departures..as much as I see the picture, or at least try to , I cant help to fantasize about getting our farm, and not being able to visibly see a neighbor. Focusing on my children, what we all, as a family, bring into one another's lives and how ot better understand that, and let the people outside, be right where they are, outside.